Intimacy counselling in Langley and across BC: closeness, desire and trust
You want to feel close to your partner again, but something keeps getting in the way…
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Does this sound familiar?
- One of you wants more physical closeness than the other, and the gap has started to feel personal.
- Months or years have passed with almost no physical intimacy, and neither of you knows how to raise it.
- Desire has dropped away since a birth, a health change, a medication, or a period of burnout.
- Past trauma makes closeness feel unsafe, even with someone you trust.
- Pain or discomfort during sex has turned something connecting into something you avoid.
- You can talk about almost anything together except this, and the silence has its own weight.
Ready to feel close again?
Intimacy concerns are rarely only about sex. They usually sit on top of something else: exhaustion, resentment that never got aired, a health change, a rupture that was never repaired, or an early experience that taught you closeness was risky. We start with what is underneath, at a pace you set, and we work on the conversation before we work on anything else.
- Name what changed, and when, without either of you carrying the blame for it.
- Learn to talk about desire, boundaries and refusal in a way that does not end in a fight.
- Work through the anxiety, shame or past experiences that make closeness feel unsafe.
- Rebuild physical and emotional connection on terms that work for both of you.
This is how you get started with intimacy counselling:
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Schedule a Free Consultation
Book a free 20 minute call to describe what has been happening, ask questions, and see whether this feels like the right fit. Nothing is off limits and nothing has to be explained in detail on that first call.
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Begin Your First Session
The first session maps out what changed and when, what each of you needs, and what you both want to be different. You set the goals together.
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Work at a Pace You Set
Sessions move at the speed of the slower partner, never the faster one. We work on communication, on the beliefs underneath, and on rebuilding connection step by step.
Have questions about intimacy counselling?
Is this the same as sex therapy?
The concerns overlap, but the title does not. Mahsa is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who works with intimacy, desire and closeness as part of relationship and trauma work. She is not a certified sex therapist, and where a concern calls for that specialisation or for medical assessment, the right step is a referral rather than a session.
What happens in a session? Is there any physical examination?
This is talk therapy. There is no physical examination, no undressing and no physical contact, ever. Sessions are conversations, held in the Langley office or by secure video, and anything practical happens privately between you and your partner, never here.
What if we are not physically intimate at all any more?
That is one of the most common reasons couples come in, and it is rarely only about sex. Long stretches without physical intimacy usually sit on top of something else: exhaustion, resentment that never got aired, a health change, or a rupture that was never repaired. The work starts with what is underneath rather than with a target for how often you should be having sex.
Do we both have to come?
Not necessarily. Some people start on their own, either because their partner is not ready or because the difficulty is theirs to work through first. Individual sessions are a legitimate starting point, and partners often join later once the work has a shape.
Is it normal to feel embarrassed talking about this?
Extremely. Most people arrive having avoided the conversation for years, sometimes with their own partner. Part of the work is building enough safety that the subject stops feeling unspeakable. You set what gets discussed and when, and you can say that you would rather not answer something.
How long does intimacy counselling usually last?
It varies with what you are working through. Some couples find meaningful change in a few sessions, others benefit from ongoing support across several months. Sessions are about 50 minutes, usually weekly or biweekly at the start, and we review progress regularly so the pace fits your life.
Have more questions? Read the full FAQs, or call (604) 353-6283 or email hello@romavilla.ca. We are happy to answer any questions.
Ready to feel close to each other again?
Or get in touch with a question first.